"'Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."

"'Tis better to have loved and lost,
than to never have loved at all."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson "In Memoriam"

These words have always rung true to me. Whether it be a lesson learned from Good Will Hunting, or the correlated epiphany in 11th grade English. These words seemed especially true to me after Dan passed away, because I had to find some way to understand his death, and one of the olnly bright sides I could see was all of the time Dan had blessed us with his presence. I figure that one day, years down the road, when the pain has subsided more, his memories will shine brighter than the gloom cast by his too-early departure.

But tonight, as I returned from a fantastic dinner with my mom, stepdad, aunt, and uncle, I recieved one of the most depressing pieces of email I have ever read. For those of you reading this who don't go to JTS, because JTS is such a small (Jewish) community, whenever something significant happens, i.e. a marriage, birth, or death, the student/faculty body recieves an email of congradulations or condolence. Tonight's email was, evidently, of the latter type. It inforned the JTS community that

"With deep regret, I wish to inform you of the death, from natural causes, of our friend and colleague, Rabbi Gershon Schwartz, husband of Dr. Shuly Schwartz, Dean of List College"

As horrible as this news is already, it is compunded, for those reading this who do not go to JTS, by the fact that Dean Schwartz' son, a Brandeis University senior, also passed away earlier this year.

Never before have I felt so much pain for another person. I have certainly felt my own pain before, and felt another's pain because I could compare it to my own. But tonight the pain of the Schwartz family and friends was palpable to me. I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes, and the sheer terribleness of the situation refused to leave me.

I knew Rabbi Schwartz somewhat well. I had been to a List College Fellow's dinner with him, and he was vibrant, and funny, and just plain goofy, too. I had also been in the pleasure of his company a few other times. I can certainly see how his memory will one day shine brighter than the shadow cast by his death, etc. And though I did not know Dean Schwartz' son Ellie, I certainly learned a great deal about him, and he sounds like an incredible and inspiriing person himself. And I am sure that one day his memory will shine brighter than the shadow cast by his death, too.

But then when the two are compunded, I have so much trouble seeing how Tennyson's quote can still hold true. He wrote the poem in response to the death of a close friend, but tonight I just cannot bring myself to see the truth in his quote. I do not want to go on, becuase I am sure this is much harder on those who knew Rabbi Schwartz and Ellie better than I, and because I cannot continue to write about such a horrible topic.

May God bring peace to those who mourn,
And may their lives be for a blessing.

"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal." ~ Albert Pike

Yasir Arafat and a Tiffany's Silver Seder Plate

here are not too many things that inspire me write a journal entry...as is made quite clear by my semihemidemidaily entries. (A semihemidemiquaver is a 64th note in music.)

Anywho, I was on the pristine subway back to Columbia this afternoon when I picked up a NY Times sitting next to me on the seat. I perused the usual bullshit about Iraq, the 9/11 commission, and the Presidential campaign. However, I stopped on page three, in which there was a huge picture of Arafat with dozens of microphones being stuck in his face. Why the big hoopla? Sharon has said that he no longer feels bound by a three-year-old commitment to President Bush not to harm Arafat. Now, I understand why Sharon has made this threat, partially as a deterrent from any retaliation by the militant group Hamas for the killing two weeks ago of its spiritual leader, Sheik Ahmed Yassin.

Regardless, Sharon is still using threats to kill a person, and this simply does not sit well, especially when juxtaposed to a beautiful Seder plate. As we enter Passover, we remember that we were slaves in Egypt, and under the yoke, and threats, of Pharaoh. Further, the day before Passover is The Fast of the Firstborn. One of the reasons for this fast is because when the Angel of Death killed all of the Egyptian firstborns, he was killing children of ordinary Egyptian citizens who were not necessarily bad people or especially malevolent to the Jews, and thus we sympathize with those families who had their firstborns taken away.

On a similar note, not every Palestinian hates Israel, and not every Israeli hates the Palestinians. But when Israel invades a Palestinian camp or a Palestinian homicide bomber blows up a marketplace, it affects everyone equally, whether they are with the Palestinians/Israelis, or against Palestinians/Israelis.

In the Haggadah we read about how to answer four different types of children: the wise child, the rebellious child, the simple child, and the child who cannot ask. What I take from this is that we must approach every person and situation uniquely, and never assume one solution or answer works for everyone. The solutions used by both sides in the conflict are blanket solutions, and while a raid may be targeted at a specific leader, the consequences affect a much larger group.

Though Passover is a time to thank God for freeing the Jews from Egypt and giving us the land of Israel, this does not translate into “we are entitled to kill whoever we need to or do whatever we want to protect the land.” I really don’t want to take sides on the whole Mideast Conflict, and there was a great article in today’s Columbia Spectator, The Two-State Pipe Dream, about how even a two-state solution is not truly viable. It was kind of disheartening to read, but unfortunately brought out many good points.

What all of this has truly made me realize is this: Military and diplomatic solutions will not solve this conflict. Divvying up territory and putting up barricades will not achieve any sort of peace. The only solution will be a mutual understanding between Palestinians and Israelis, a mutual respect, and an admission of faults. I’m not saying that this will be, in any way whatsoever easy or quick, but it will be the only lasting solution.

Otherwise, I fear that Isaac and Ishmael will meet again only upon the death of their father, and I do not want to find out what that means.