An Update, I Guess

So, I haven't updated this thing for a while. The reason: I have a real journal now, as in the type where I can write anything, like how much I hate you, or how I had the craziest dream last night about a cell phone and a goats, and well, yeh, that's why I can't say it here.

See, the point of a journal is it's an outlet, a place to reduce tension. People write in journal for the same reason that they drive fast, lift weights, scream, curse, and have sex--all of these are forms of release. And when you have to censor yourself, then you're not really releasing all of the tension that you have built up.

But I can still use this for amusing updates or observations. One thing I've come to realize is this: My life is too good for me to ever become a great philosopher. If you look at all of the great thinkers in the past, they were pretty miserable. Nietzsche went insane and spent the last 10 years of his life in an asylum. Mozart was almost always near bankruptcy. James Joyce hated Ireland, and couldn't wait to get out. The list goes on, but it made me realize one thing: Life and immortality have an inverse relationship. If your life is good, and you just go through it enjoying yourself, and doing your thing to help yourself, and other people, chances are you won't be remembered 1000 years from now. But if you live your life as a radical, always going against the grain, and stirring things up, you probably will be remembered down the road. But a life like this isn't truly enjoyable. There would necessarily always be a good deal of tension, and uneasiness. I think that it's this tension that forces people to do something extraordinary.

I just don't have that tension in my life. I know that this kind of sounds like an excuse or something, but I think it's true. Who knows, maybe some day I'll do something great or whatever, but I think that the odds are stacked against me. And no, I am also not envious of those who do have hard lives, and will produce something great. I'm very happy with my life the way it is.

Okay, so that's my little rant of the day. I promise I'll have something that's actually worth your time to read next time.